Here's another goodbye to another good friend
by StonesFan
Summary: After Daryl's death, Beth says her goodbyes


Beth walked towards the farmers' fields. The crops, all kinds of vegetables, were thriving into a bumper yield. So were the weeds, and Michonne was there, seated on a low stool, her cane lying beside her, busy yanking them out. Even this light work was causing her pain now, though she tried to hide it. Beth was still getting over her pain too, and her gait felt unsteady. She forced her face into a smile.

Michonne looked up at her old friend, and recognized a look she hadn't seen in her for a long time. Or maybe it had been there all along.

"Hello Beth." Michonne smiled. Her eyes were warm below her short iron grey hair. Beth remembered when those eyes had been steely and hard and even when Michonne had fallen in love with Rick, they had mostly stayed that way. And how she used to be weeding out walkers with her sword.

"Hi Michonne. How ya been keeping?"

"Well…..fine". Michonne started to get to her feet, but struggled. Beth took a moment to make sure no one could see, then helped her up.

"This is getting really bad," Michonne said ruefully. The arthritis had started slowly, but in the last few months had spread through her like wildfire. "Let's go back to my place. Let's have a little visit"

Beth hooked her arm in Michonne's elbow as they walked slowly away from the field. "Looks like a great yield this year. Lots to can."

"It ought to be. They're descended from the seeds you brought us."

"I found a ton of them while I was on my own. They're not all here, I planted them wherever I could out there. Bet they're growing wild now. I hope."

"You're going to go and find out, aren't you?"

Beth was a bit startled. Was it that obvious? Or course, Hope and Faith couldn't keep all their packing secret either, however much they tried. She decided not to deny it.

"The girls are looking forward to it. They been singing the we're off to see the wizard song I taught 'em. So long ago"

"You won't find any wizards. No Oz. There's nothing out there."

"We don't know for sure. We're going to head west eventually. Maybe north. Maybe Nebraska's nice. No one I know of knows what's out that way. We want to go. I'm not dragging them against their will that's for sure."

They were passing one of the walls now, the wall of the dead names. Beth did not look, but Michonne did, and saw the most recent freshly painted memorial. Daryl Dixon. No one knew where he was buried, it was not in the Alexandria graveyard, the one that had been expanded many times. Beth had not told anyone.

Now they were in the subdivision streets. The few houses left were looking run-down with age, but still standing, and would still stand for many years to come. They entered Michonne's house, where she was living alone now.

"I have something for you Beth. I figured out you were leaving; I could see it in your eyes."

Beth looked up at the mantle-piece above a long-dead fireplace. It could only be one thing. Michonne's katana. How long had it been since she had used it? Over a year. She had been training others with it, including Beth's daughters but even that had stopped months ago. With her arthritis, she could barely move now.

"I want you to take my sword with you."

"I can't take that, Michonne."

"I spent my time on the road too you know. Not as much as you, and not as much alone, and not with…but enough to know you need it more than me now. Besides, I can't use it. I'm no use for fighting anymore."

"You still know how though." Beth paused, then said, "You could come with us."

"I'd only drag you down. You know that."

Beth stepped back as Michonne gingerly reached up for her sword, and winced and she tried to swing it around. And failed. She was secretly glad the older woman wasn't going. She would die out there now.

"It's yours now. Besides, who else could I give it to?"

Who else indeed.

Michonne handed the sword hilt to Beth, then paused, saying, "Did you know that this killed your father?"

Beth felt a chill run through her. Hershel. Her dear father. She had known he had lived beyond that time she had run away from the farm when the walker herd attacked. Had never gotten to say goodbye, nor had heard any last words from him. Her last vision was of him standing in front of the porch, shotgun in hand, refusing to leave his home.

It was difficult to speak. "I never knew that." She managed. "How….how did you lose it?"

"After the sickness and the walker attack at the prison was over, Hershel and I carted the bodies out to burn them. We even had to burn our own. It was a tough job for him; he was missing part of one leg. But we got taken by surprise by the Governor, the one Daryl and I had been looking for after Woodbury fell. He'd somehow found a new group, suckers, Daryl called them afterwards. We were hostages. He brought us to the front gates, and we had to kneel as he threatened to kill us if we didn't open them.

"Rick tried so hard to talk him down. Your dad said 'It could work, you know it could'. His last words. It looked for a bit like the Governor was going to listen…but he didn't. He….he…. do you want to hear the rest?"

Beth listened with mounting horror. She felt tears in her eyes. She could only mutely nod.

"The Governor beheaded your dad. The first cut bit deep into his neck. Then the shooting started. Hershel tried to crawl away, then that damn Governor caught up to him and hit him till his head was gone."

"Daryl never told me that. He never would say that much about it." She couldn't hold back the tears. "And what happened after that, was he, I mean is his head….."

"There were walkers everywhere, but I…put him down. As gently as I could. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything more"

Beth moved over to Michonne and gently hugged her. "I'm sorry you had to relive that."

"So you never knew. I kind of wish I didn't tell you even now, but with you leaving….you'd never have found out"

Beth gently ran her hand over the blade. She didn't know if she expected to feel some kind of electricity as her hand passed over the spot that had killed her father, some kind of vision of him to appear before her, but there was nothing but smooth sharp steel.

"No, Daryl never told me. Maggie didn't. Guess they were still tryin' to protect me. Thank you". This she said not to Michonne. Then to Michonne, she said, "Thank you for telling me. After all this time, I miss him so much. You know he wanted to he a grandpa, well he was. Hope would have been a couple months old when he died. Wished I could have had his advice on raising two crazy girls!"

Michonne looked at her. Beth looked both cried out, yet about to cry again.

"Beth, why are you leaving?"

Beth sighed. "After you told me all that, I guess I owe you now. But it's…it's hard to put into words. You may not like it."

"You think this place is a dead end?"

"I'm thinking about Hope and Faith. Do you really think they can find good husbands here?"

"There's…" Michonne started then paused. "I see. No."

"He's already looking at me. Ever since I brought Daryl back. Even before he died. He's gonna make a move on me. And if he doesn't get me he'll try for Hope. If he does that I'll kill him. And I don't want any more killing."

"You warned us about the war. And what it would lead to. And now its happening."

"Are you mad at me for leaving?"

"I hate that you're deserting us. Especially with Daryl gone now. But…you've been thinking about doing this for a while, haven't you?"

"Yes" Beth admitted. "But Daryl was getting on you know. I couldn't ask him. If I did, he'd have gone in a minute." This she said proudly.

Michonne sighed. "This feels like a death knell" she said.

"It has been. And I guess it is. Its going to happen either way." Beth's voice hardened slightly. "Don't try to stop me. Y'all had this coming you know. Not just here, but everywhere we know. Reap what you sow." Then her voice softened. "I'll be back if I can. If not me I'll send the girls and their families. If they can. If they want."

Beth knew as she said this it would never happen. She didn't think Michonne believed it either.

"You and Daryl were holding this place together. No one else could. Making it seem we were all still alive. If you stayed you could buy us a few more years." Now Michonne's eyes were filled with tears too.

"You don't need me for that any more. You still have time."

Beth headed for the door, sword in hand. "One more thing. When….when it's all over, will you make sure there's seed still here? Someone may come…..in the future…..someone who's innocent of all this. You never know. Just because things didn't work out the way we thought doesn't mean they won't later."

Michonne would have a legacy.

"I promise."

After taking Michonne's sword home, her next stop was the long low shed that was both Eugene's house and workshop. As she approached she smelled wet rotten wood. What was he working on now?

Beth knocked on the door. "Come on in" yelled a voice from inside.

As she entered the room the smell became stronger. She saw Eugene, bent over a huge cauldron, stirring a foul smelling mixture. "Are you cooking up a new witches' brew?"

Eugene turned to greet her. His eyes were red. He's been crying at least as much as I did, Beth thought. Probably more. And his mullet was gone. His hair was now cut short. His beard was more gray than black.

"This is no witches brew, though it is made of the same stuff they fly on. Come on and I'll show you some finished product."

It was rolls of soft white paper wrapped around wooden dowels. Beth uttered a squeal of delight. "Toilet paper!" She grabbed a roll, rubbed it on her face and squeezed it.

"Please don't squeeze the Charmin" he said. "We all took this for granted in our previous lives, but it took all the scientific and technical skills at my command to make it this good. And I've already made a lot of it. You can take all you want for your travels."

"Is it all around town we're goin'?"

"Hope and Faith were in here a couple of hours ago. Just about cleaned me out of ammo. You ladies are going to be loaded for multitudes of bear."

Beth sighed. Sometimes the girls could be so impolite. Just like Daryl was. "I'll give some back if you want."

"No need of that. I have the materials and I have the expertise. A simple matter to make more."

There was an awkward silence. Hesitantly Beth reached up and touched Eugene's face. "You got rid of your mullet."

"It seemed that a loss of this magnitude required some kind of tribute. And I have made it in the best way I know how. Besides, Daryl made fun of it off and on."

"He didn't mean anything by it."

"I'm not too sure of that. I'm not sure he forgave me for what went down between the Saviours and I. I was a coward. I admit that."

I may have forgiven, but I didn't forget, thought Beth. But we did get him back in the end.

"That's in the past, Eugene."

"But I have to live with it. And I will, here. No greener pastures for me. Pardon the pun."

Beth wasn't about to repeat what she had said to Michonne. "I'm sorry I'm leaving you all. But I have to. We have to."

"You don't have to tell me why. I think I have already guessed". Greener pastures indeed, Beth thought. That guy was smart even if he was weird. "I guess there is nothing more to say than to wish you a safe and fruitful journey." She noticed the emphasis in his words.

Beth kissed Eugene on the forehead. "Thank you. We're leaving tomorrow morning. Come on out and see us off if you can."

"I don't know that I can bear to. The inevitable has become all the more real now. We're pooched here. We always were. When Daryl was alive somehow we could forget that. But he wouldn't have been able to stem the tide. And you and your girls can't either."

That's an awful lot to lay on us, Beth thought. I think I'm through talking with him.

She got up and started to walk out the door. Just one more thing. She turned back and said, "Have you written anything down? How to make ammo? Toilet paper? All your inventions?"

"I have started recording some rudimentary instruction, yes. But who will carry on this work? Who's going to be left to carry it on?"

"Someone might. In the future. So make it easy to understand!"

Eugene would have a legacy.

Father Gabriel was sitting at his desk as Beth entered the chapel. He had his Bible open in front of him and was writing in a notebook.

"Hi Gabriel. What's that you got there?"

"I'm writing some verses for you. Suitable for travellers."

"I wish I could take a Bible with us. But there aren't any more to be found here."

"I would have transcribed the whole book for you Beth, if I had more time. Or just given you mine, but…."

Beth sat across from him, and reached out and touched his hand. "You know we have a better chance of finding another one."

"Maybe. I'd never have thought it, but all the Bibles seem to have disappeared."

"I know. Me and Daryl, whenever we saw a motel, we always looked for those Gideon Bibles. They were always gone. Looted, I guess. For kindling most likely."

"We're going to miss you. All of you." He was the one person Beth had told her plan to. She wasn't sure why. Daryl had not liked him for a long time, but later had really warmed to the priest. He had been the one to arrange the much belated marriage ceremony, and the baptism of their daughters. And most surprising, had asked to be baptized himself.

"I'm going to miss you at Sunday services. Your family was pretty much my only congregation."

"I'm going to miss you all too. But its not going to stop me."

"How old are you Beth?"

"Thirty-three."

"You could still start over. With someone else. Not here, but…..somewhere. Over the rainbow I guess."

Beth smiled. Gabriel had sung that song with her daughters at church, after the prayers.

Gabriel paused then said, "You know I shouldn't repeat what others have told me in confidence, but Daryl said that he would want you to find someone else if you could. Not to be alone. He said that to me a few weeks ago."

"I always wondered if he knew he was sick. Maybe he did, but he wouldn't have really believed it. I had a feeling he shouldn't have gone out on that hunt. I tried to talk him out of it, but he wouldn't listen. We were all going so no way would he not go too and look out after us. Even if we didn't need it. I wish…" she faltered. Crying yet again she thought. "I wish there was a way I could have made him stay behind. Maybe told a story about something that needed fixing or something. A lie. But I didn't and now he's gone. And don't tell me it was God's plan!"

Gabriel had in fact been about to say just that. Instead he said, "All I have left is to listen to Mrs Neidermeyer beg me to pray for her to get that fucking pasta maker."

Beth had to laugh despite herself. "I never heard you talk like that before."

"I was born and raised in the ghetto. In sin. In substance abuse. That was the language I first heard in life. Daryl was a country boy, but he and I had some things in common after all. And we both became better than our upbringing. Me later than him. Compared to us you were born with the silver spoon in your mouth."

Beth wanted to tell him of her experience on the road. Even the Virgin Mary hadn't had to give birth all alone in a ditch. She didn't remember a nativity scene.

But, "Fair enough," was all she said.

"Beth," Father Gabriel said, "when we buried Daryl, there was another grave in that clearing. You must have known about it. Why did we take him there rather than burying him here? And why did you ask for no help but me?"

Trust him to notice that, Beth thought. She thought about not telling him, but then no one would ever know.

She answered the second question first. "Because most of the time you can keep a secret. You just said you could." She paused. "And we needed an extra hand. For the burial."

"There was what looked like a label from a liquor bottle on that cross. It was so faded though."

"It was Everclear."

"The wolf who came in with you? Why did you name him after that liquor?"

She had told him enough, she thought. There was more, but she would keep that to herself.

"He was like a spirit animal to you, wasn't he?"

Which one? Beth thought. They both were. Her voice was firm. "Don't tell anyone. Well… tell Michonne. And tell her where his grave is too. But no one else. But don't let her go visit alone. It's still dangerous out there, and she doesn't have her sword anymore."

"She gave it to you?"

"Yes. She can't use it anymore."

"I guess that's just another sign of us dyin'. The slow passage of age. It's like that at the Kingdom and Hilltop too. No one alive that's under forty after King Henry died. I wonder if God is punishing us after all. Were we not worthy of his grace?"

Beth had been wondering the same thing. She and Daryl had tried to have more children. Maybe it was Daryl's age. Maybe it was her. But after Faith, no more children had been born in any of the communities.

Gabriel felt tears sliding down his face. "This feels like what I did just around the Turn…"

Beth interrupted him. "No. It's not. Not everyone can be saved. We've saved what we could. We've lived. Just think of what we have here. We have fields full of crops. Tons of seeds. Even after you're gone, they'll still be growing wild for a long time. Maybe when you're outside, you can scatter some seeds for us. For me and Daryl.

"Not only that. Think of all the knowledge. Olivia's jerky recipes. Eugene's inventions. All waiting to be used again."

Gabriel brightened a bit. "Did you know in the middle ages, the Church was instrumental in keeping alive a lot of practical knowledge? Not just of heaven but of the Earth."

"Maybe in the future this place will be renamed Stokesville by the new people who find it."

Beth hugged him and kissed him on the forehead. "You better be up early tomorrow to see us off. At least to close the gates after we're gone." She got up and headed for the door.

One more thing to say. "When the time comes for the end of this place, open the gates."

After all is said and done  
I gotta move I had my fun  
Let us walk before they make me run  
After all is said and done  
I did alright, I had my fun  
I will walk before they make me run

The Rolling Stones "Before They Make Me Run"


End file.
